Hello gals and for my guy readers out there Hi! I’m so happy that you are visiting 1998miss.com! Today I wanted to do a blog post in a format I haven’t exactly done in a while. I’ve been doing a lot of collaborations with brands (a total blessing/thank you Jesus) but today I want to take a minute to write from the heart!
Chivalry is not dead. I know what you’re thinking…OKAY, right she’s totally going to talk about Princesses and Princes, holding doors open and… yadayada. Well sort of but also not exactly so. For a while now I have wanted to talk about the topic of dating. I want to elaborate on something that has been weighing on my heart about the value of being pursued.
Chivalry is defined as showing courtesy or attentiveness. I believe this is so important to understand because in today’s society it is often lost in the movements of feminism. While I definitely support women getting equal opportunities and pay I realize women are NOT LIKE MEN! That is what makes us unique! God made both sexes different and we should celebrate that. All that being said I believe that men should be gentlemen and women should be ladies. No, I’m not referring to a 1950’s sexist mentality. What I am talking about is just a general sense of respect for how God made YOU. I think that although society is pushing for women to seek out the relationships they want to have and I still believe that there is beauty in the way God designed it. Being pursued by a gentleman has a little magic to it. I know first hand that this can be a challenge but I also know when it is done the right way it’s worth it.
I want to elaborate a little more about what I mean because trust me I’ve been in the very same scenario you may be in now. You want to be with so and so because they are so cute and yadadada. They may be frequently messaging you, snaping you, dming you… but yet you are just not sure if they like you. …. Let me be clear, if a guy wants to be with you he will be very intentional about interacting with you. For gals, it’s the same way. A girl will be intentional in just about everything. There won’t be all the games of waiting the three hours to reply etc. When a relationship is really of quality you will know. Your conversation will be exceptional and it will feel right. Also, side note: guys like to pursue girls that don’t put it all out there. So the girls who are open to being pursued not being all annoying. You save that for your bro’s or your gals. Y’all know what I mean…we’ve all been there. We have all been in that situation where so and so isn’t taking a hint. So think of that the next time you want to act fast.
Also, taking girls out to dinner or for an evening on the town is still a thing. Boys, you can still call a girl up and ask if she will go out with you. Girls, you can still be patient and wait for milestones in the relationship. Sometimes because of social media, I think we skip the part of taking things slowly. We forget to be intentional. We forget about the “courting” process. I’m writing to say Chivalry is not dead. You are worth FAR MORE THAN RUBIES SISTA!!! They wouldn’t just leave you out in the open to grab. There would be a safety box with a code. It’s okay to keep your heart on lockdown. You don’t want to give it to someone who isn’t worthy of it. Same for you guys!! Don’t get a girl who doesn’t appreciate you. You are a son of the king!
Girls, it is okay to expect effort from the guy you like. Boys, it’s okay to expect effort from the girl you like. It’s still cool to send girls flowers (even ones you find on the side of the road because honestly its the thought that counts.)Casual dating may be what is hip but it isn’t what sticks. Being intentional about who you pursue is worth it.
I have found that when it’s the right one you will know. I am all about intentional dating because when you are deciding who you want to spend your forever with you have to be intentional. It’s okay to be picky but more importantly, it’s important to be picky. I have seen it far too many times when relationships are not intentional and people end up marrying the wrong one. God made you and he made a partner for you. My mom always tells me “if he made an Alexa Sue-Anne Dudley, then he made a spouse for you too”.
Finally, are they chasing Jesus first and then chasing you? Is God their number one? Chivalry isn’t only from fairytales but it’s biblical. KEEP IT INTENTIONAL. This matters.
I have felt this in my own life and on my heart so I wanted to take the time to share. I do love sharing fashion but every once in awhile it’s good to break it up. Just because you don’t have someone doesn’t mean you should settle. The right one will come along and when they do you want to be available.
Love, Alexa Sue-Anne Dudley@1998miss